Whether it’s American, French, Russian or Buffet Will Determine
The Better to Serve You, My Dear!
As I wrote about last time, the wait staff can be a great partnership whether you are the host or the guest at a dining event and whether the event if formal, informal or casual. On the more formal scale, there are a few different types of waiter service of which you should be aware, and of which a professional wait staff is thoroughly versed.
“It's hard to get a dozen CEOs to agree about anything, but all interviewed agree with the Waiter Rule…How others treat the CEO says nothing, they say. But how others treat the waiter is like a magical window into the soul.” ~ USA Today
Whether you’re the host or guest at a business or social function at a restaurant, corporate dining room, banquet hall or your own home, your strongest partnership in such an endeavor will be with the wait staff. As the quote above attests, you’ll be judged by the way you relate to and treat the wait staff.
“I definitely have the salad fork.
The rest of the silverware is a little confusing.”
~ Vivian, played by Julia Roberts, in Pretty Woman
It can be daunting to sit down to a formal or informal table or place setting, which is precisely what happens when you attend a business luncheon or dinner, black-tie affair, wedding or other professional or personal event. But it needn’t be. In this entry, we’ll be looking at the various components of the place setting. (Note that informal dining differs from casual dining. “Informal” refers to a somewhat less formal dinner, luncheon or breakfast setting; “casual” implies fast-food, picnic, backyard or kicking-back-in-front-of-the-TV dining.)
“When the candidate sat down, he did not remove
the table napkin throughout the entire lunch.”
A number of years ago, Seattle Times business reporter Stanley Holmes wrote an article on the importance of business etiquette, and he included this example: “A comptroller at a big company was instructed to take a job candidate to a lunch and offer him a $100,000 public relations job. The candidate had won the job but did not yet know it. When the candidate sat down, he did not remove the table napkin throughout the entire lunch. He was not offered the position. The comptroller reasoned that the man had no business serving as the company's public relations manager if he did not have the basic elements of table etiquette down.”
Today, employers are sitting down with job candidates at meals much more frequently in order to assess their dining etiquette skills. So that you don’t miss an opportunity because of a mishandled napkin, this week’s post is devoted to important etiquette topic.
They then started the two-by-two procession into the dining room,
where the butler held the seating chart and footmen
were present to push in chairs.
~ Description of dinner seating at Downton Abbey,
Providence Journal Blog
Although you might have your preferences of who you'd like to sit next to at a Downton Abbey dinner, the seating chart will be in the hands of the butler. Arranged seating is the norm at very formal dinners, where you will find your name neatly written, often in calligraphy on a little card above the place setting. At Downton Abbey, the White House or Buckingham Palace you should also expect to escort or be escorted into the dining room where dinner will be served elegantly by a wait staff dressed in formal attire. Nothing much has changed over the years.
Ford: …better three hours too soon than a minute too late.
~ William Shakespeare, The Merry Wives of Windsor, Act 2, Scene 2
“I must have missed it,” said Dumbledore cheerfully. “However, due to a lucky mistake, I arrived at the Ministry three hours early...”
~J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix, Chapter Eight, The Hearing
Both Windsor citizen Ford and Hogwarts’ Professor Dumbledore knew that by arriving early they could accomplish their goals. Three hours might seem to be a bit of an early lead, but I think we’d all agree that it depends on the mission.
The Formal Affair
If you are invited to a State Dinner at the White House, a charity ball, corporate black-tie dinner, a wedding or similar formal affair, punctuality is crucial. For some occasions, you may receive instructions on the suggested arrival time. In any case, it is advisable to arrive no later than 20 minutes prior to the time indicated on the invitation, and I advise to arrive 30-40 minutes ahead of time, because:
Nothing annoys people so much as not receiving invitations.”
― Oscar Wilde, The Importance of Being Earnest
Dr. Carolyn and Mr. Warren Nelson
Request the Pleasure of Your Company
On the Twentieth Day of June
At 8:00 O’clock in the Evening
At Their Residence
To Celebrate the Occasion of Their
Twenty-Fifth Wedding Anniversary
Black Tie Optional
R.s.v.p.
Whether the invitation is formally engraved in calligraphy or spoken casually in passing, the invitation to break bread is the first step in the dining etiquette process, whether the occasion is a formal dinner, buffet supper or back yard barbeque. Following are the types of invitations you might receive, the guidelines for responding, and descriptions of the dress codes that are often included with invitations.
New Year’s Resolution: Perfect Your Dining Etiquette
To start out the New Year, in a series of posts I’ll be addressing a subject that is essential to the success of every professional – dining etiquette. In fact, this is such an important topic and of great interest to students and young professionals that in 2013 I will be concentrating on this topic, as well as networking techniques, in my PROWESS Workshops
How To Enjoy Yourself While Keeping Your Career Intact
The holiday season is here again, and with it the usual round of festivities, including the notorious annual office party, known in many modern savvy circles as “the annual business holiday party.” Companies sponsor this annual event to demonstrate appreciation to their employees; but underneath the good intentions lurk all sorts of minefields and pitfalls for the unwary employee.
Echoing the Spirit of the Pilgrims and the Wampanoag
According to historical accounts, in November 1621, a year after the Pilgrims arrived on the shores of what would become the USA, they celebrated a successful and bountiful harvest with members of the native Wampanoag Tribe, with whom they formed a bond that lasted more than half a century. We should all have such successful dinner parties! That strong empathy and peaceful alliance that existed between the new colonists and the natives who befriended them should serve as a model of civility and empathy for us in the 21st Century.
As we gather for another Thanksgiving celebration, following are some reminders to make your glorious harvest celebration just as successful as the first Thanksgiving:
Jeanne Nelson 