Category: Social Events

Job Search Series – How To Work a Room (Full of Strangers) Part 2

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 Balancing Mingling with Food & Drink

 "Sometimes, idealistic people are put off the whole business of
networking as something tainted by flattery and
the pursuit of selfish advantage. But virtue in obscurity
is rewarded only in Heaven. To succeed in this world
you have to be known to people" ~ Sonia Sotomayor

A networking event should be approached in the same manner that you would a job interview. Prepare, dress and behave as though you will meet your future boss, because that could very well happen.

Christmas Caroling Etiquette

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Here we come a-wassailing
Among the leaves so green,
Here we come a-wand’ring
So fair to be seen.
Love and joy come to you,
And to your wassail, too,
And God bless you, and send you
A Happy New Year,
And God send you a Happy New Year.
~ The Wassail Song 

As someone who is plain goofy about the Christmas holidays (but like Charlie Brown doesn’t like the crass commercialism that accompanies them), I love caroling. So, I was pleased to discover both traditional as well as a bit of creative caroling on some college campuses, such as Bridgewater College in Virginia’s Shenandoah Valley, Syracuse University in New York and the University of Toronto Law School. And, for more than a century Christmas carol services have been performed at Harvard, which has connections to a number of famous composers of Christmas carols.

Thanksgiving Traditions

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"As we express our gratitude, we must never forget that the highest
appreciation is not to utter words, but to live by them."
~ John Fitzgerald Kennedy

To Americans, Thanksgiving means hearth and home, a gathering of family and friends and good and plentiful food and drink. To the pilgrims who celebrated what we have come to recognize as the First Thanksgiving nearly 400 years ago, it was an occasion of thankfulness and gratitude by those who had survived the voyage to these shores as well as the first harsh winter in their new land. 

Dining Etiquette Series – Saying Grace Before Dinner

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“In some families and at some events it’s customary to say a blessing or prayer before the meal begins. If that’s not your custom and you’re a guest, just sit quietly until the blessing is finished. If asked, do join hands around the table—doing so will complete the circle.”
~ Emily Post’s Etiquette, 18th Edition, Manners For A New World

In the U.S., the freedoms of religion, speech and assembly are held in very high esteem. But, along with freedom should come civility. That means that we should not only respect the rights, beliefs and customs of others, we should also extend courtesy, consideration and understanding when we or when others exercise those rights, express those beliefs and celebrate those customs. In each the following dining scenarios, consider the response that you believe would be most appropriate: 

Trick or Treat Etiquette

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Sally Brown: Do I get to go trick-or-treating with you, big brother?
Charlie Brown: Sure, Sally.
Sally Brown: Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy! How do we do it?
Lucy Van Pelt: All you have to do is walk up to a house, ring the doorbell, and say "tricks or treats."
Sally Brown: Are you sure it's legal?
Lucy Van Pelt: Of course it's legal.
Sally Brown: I wouldn't want to be accused of taking part in a rumble
~ It’s The Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown

Halloween would be a whole lot more fun if everyone were like Sally Brown and showed some real concern about the proprieties of trick or treating. 

The Skillful Dinner Conversationalist

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That which chiefly causes the failure of a dinner-party,
 is the running short—not of meat, nor yet of drink, but of conversation.
 ~ Lewis Carroll

There are many components to a successful dinner party – a welcoming invitation, warm and friendly hosts, engaging guests, delicious food served elegantly, and a beautiful and inviting dinner table. Those are the elements that will draw guests to a gathering. But, the dynamic that sets the occasion afire and keeps people talking about it long afterward is the conversation, good or bad.

Dining Etiquette Series – Responsibilities of a Guest

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Did you ever have the feeling that you wanted to go,
and still have the feeling that you wanted to stay?"
 ~ Banjo, from The Man Who Came to Dinner

Banjo is a character from the classic play about an insufferable guest named Sheridan Whiteside, who reluctantly accepts a dinner invitation and then because of a freak accident not only overstays his visit but behaves badly the entire time. So, to entertain Banjo’s question, perhaps there have been times when, as a guest, you’ve been ambivalent about whether you wanted to stay or go. However, as you know that the foundation of good manners is to put others ahead of yourself, I’m betting that you did not behave as Sherry Whiteside did. Because whether at a formal affair or a beach party, a guest has certain responsibilities that mirror those of the host (see last week’s post, Responsibilities of a Host), as follows: 

Dining Etiquette Series – Responsibilities of a Host

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A host is like a general: calamities often reveal his genius.
~ Horace, Roman lyric poet, satirist, and critic, 65 – 8 B.C.

Now that autumn has arrived and the busy fall entertaining season begins, I’m returning to topics of dining etiquette. As a student, your future very likely will include formal entertaining and hosting for both personal and business occasions. As Horace observed millennia ago, planning and implementing a dinner or luncheon party can be fraught with opportunities for mishaps, often referred to as Murphy’s Law. 

National Etiquette Week 2013

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“O, Times! O, Manners! It is my opinion
That you are changing sadly your dominion
I mean the reign of manners hath long ceased,
For men have none at all, or bad at least…

~ Edgar Allan Poe, Poetry, Tales and Selected Essays

If Mr. Poe was bemoaning the decline of manners in the 19th Century, perhaps there has always been an element of incivility in society. We are most certainly hearing an outcry about the widespread lack of common courtesy in the early 21st Century. However, we know now, as the learned knew back then, that those who master etiquette skills generally are more successful in their social and business lives. 

And, now there is something in which Mr. Poe most likely would have been happy to participate: National Etiquette Week (NEW), which is being observed during this week, May 13-17. 

Dining Etiquette Series – Who Sits Next To Whom?

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They then started the two-by-two procession into the dining room,
where the butler held the seating chart and footmen
 were present to push in chairs.

~ Description of dinner seating at Downton Abbey,
 Providence Journal Blog

Although you might have your preferences of who you'd like to sit next to at a Downton Abbey dinner, the seating chart will be in the hands of the butler.  Arranged seating is the norm at very formal dinners, where you will find your name neatly written, often in calligraphy on a little card above the place setting.  At Downton Abbey, the White House or Buckingham Palace you should also expect to escort or be escorted into the dining room where dinner will be served elegantly by a wait staff dressed in formal attire. Nothing much has changed over the years.