Category: Social Events

Dining Etiquette Series – The Power of the Early Arrival

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Ford: …better three hours too soon than a minute too late.
 ~ William Shakespeare, The Merry Wives of Windsor, Act 2, Scene 2

“I must have missed it,” said Dumbledore cheerfully. “However, due to a lucky mistake, I arrived at the Ministry three hours early...”
 ~J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix, Chapter Eight, The Hearing  

Both Windsor citizen Ford and Hogwarts’ Professor Dumbledore knew that by arriving early they could accomplish their goals. Three hours might seem to be a bit of an early lead, but I think we’d all agree that it depends on the mission.

The Formal  Affair

If you are invited to a State Dinner at the White House, a charity ball, corporate black-tie dinner, a wedding or similar formal affair, punctuality is crucial. For some occasions, you may receive instructions on the suggested arrival time. In any case, it is advisable to arrive no later than 20 minutes prior to the time indicated on the invitation, and I advise to arrive 30-40 minutes ahead of time, because:

Dining Etiquette Series – The Pleasure of Your Company is Requested

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Nothing annoys people so much as not receiving invitations.”
― Oscar Wilde, The Importance of Being Earnest

Dr. Carolyn and Mr. Warren Nelson
Request the Pleasure of Your Company
On the Twentieth Day of June
At 8:00 O’clock in the Evening
At Their Residence
To Celebrate the Occasion of Their
Twenty-Fifth Wedding Anniversary
Black Tie Optional
R.s.v.p.

Whether the invitation is formally engraved in calligraphy or spoken casually in passing, the invitation to break bread is the first step in the dining etiquette process, whether the occasion is a formal dinner, buffet supper or back yard barbeque.  Following are the types of invitations you might receive, the guidelines for responding, and descriptions of the dress codes that are often included with invitations.

Summer Vacation Etiquette – Part 4: Fourth of July Barbecue

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Fourth of July Barbecue Etiquette

For many Americans, nothing says summer has arrived like a Fourth of July celebration.  Roughly two weeks following the summer solstice, The Fourth is a great marker for the seasonal passage.

There are many ways we Americans celebrate The Fourth.  Among the favorites is the barbecue; following are some etiquette guidelines to make them even more enjoyable:

Stand Up!

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Failure to Stand Could Mean a Failure to Succeed

Several years ago upon entering my daughter’s high school guidance office for an appointment, two male students and their belongings were sprawled and strewn across all the available seating.  They ignored me and continued to address each other as though no one else were present.  I almost asked them to remove their jackets, backpacks, books and other paraphernalia to make room for me to sit, but I was so fascinated by their behavior that I opted to wait and see if their manners would kick in.  They didn’t.    

Failure to stand on certain occasions can damage your brand. Just as people will remember a poor handshake, they will also recall if you failed to stand when meeting them.

Prom Planning & Protocol – Part 3: Guys’ Guide

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Planning For a Night to Remember with Class and Style

The BOYS’ Guide 

For a guy on the brink of adulthood, prom can be an excellent showcase for your adult behavior.  It’s a time to demonstrate your sophistication, savvy and character, and an opportunity to impress your parents, teachers, classmates and especially that special person in your life with your social skills. 

Prom Planning & Protocol – Part 1: The Basics

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Planning For a Night to Remember with Class and Style

Proms are tricky.  On the one hand, you want to be a part of one of the milestones of your high school career; on the other, for your own reasons, maybe not.  One thing is certain: proms have changed over the years, and each generation will celebrate in its own way.  So, while it’s still the most popular choice to attend with a date, in many high schools across the country it’s also perfectly acceptable, and in some cases preferable, to attend prom with a group of friends rather than with a single date or – as a sign of our times – with a same-sex date or simply with a friend of either gender.  If you have decided that you don’t want to miss one of the time-honored experiences of a student’s life – your junior or senior prom – then there are some decisions and preparations to be made and some important points of protocol and etiquette of which to be aware.

Introductions Deconstructed (Rules and Exceptions) – Part 3: Awkward and Special Situations

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The Rules
(And their Exceptions)
Part Three of Three Entries


This three-part series winds up by focusing on those awkward, unusual, new and special situations.

Who’s that lady?

You’re on vacation with your parents and you see your basketball coach and his wife in your hotel courtyard.  Oh, how cute, they’re holding hands!  Your parents want to meet them, so you walk over only to discover that the woman with your coach is not his wife, to whom you were introduced at your school’s sports banquet last year. 

You say:

Introductions Deconstructed (Rules and Exceptions) – Part 2: Names

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The Rules
(And their Exceptions)
Part Two of Three Entries

    

 

Welcome back!  In Part Two of "Introductions Deconstructed," we'll focus on the importance of names in making introductions.

Saying and Remembering Names

Everyone enjoys hearing her name.  Thus, it’s important to pronounce names clearly when making introductions.  Don’t hesitate to ask someone to pronounce his name again; people are happy to ensure that their names will be pronounced correctly and don’t mind repeating their names or hearing their names repeated by someone else.  Westerners frequently experience difficulty in pronouncing Asian, African and Middle Eastern names and vice versa.  As a result, people whose names are difficult to pronounce in the country in which they live often adopt a nickname that people in their adopted country can understand.  It is in line with the tenants of etiquette to make every effort to pronounce one’s native name, but if a person is comfortable with his nickname, it is acceptable to use it in everyday, informal, language.  I’ll address this topic with respect to correspondence and formal invitations in a future entry. 

The Perfect Handshake

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It's Critical to Your Career!

Your job interview, prospective client, seat on a board or membership in an organization can be won or lost on the strength of your handshake. It can put you over the top or sink your chances. While this seemingly routine and innocuous little nicety lasts only a few seconds, it will be remembered forever.