"The greatest test of courage on earth
is to bear defeat without losing heart."
~ Robert Green Ingersoll
Defeat is heartbreaking and painful whether you lose a horse race, an election, a job, a lover or miss a great opportunity. For those who supported and volunteered for Hillary Clinton over the past year and a half as I did, last Tuesday's loss was just that. So what do you do when your dream turns into a nightmare?
"My candle was nearly burnt out,
when, by the glimmer of the half-extinguished light,
I saw the dull yellow eye of the creature open."
~ Frankenstein, Chapter 5, by Mary Shelley
This year as Halloween approaches we find ourselves facing a terror that surpasses the usual seasonal frights of Michael Myers, werewolves, ghosts, poltergeist and vampires: the Presidential election season.
For many of us, the shocks we have received are akin to the horror that Dr. Frankenstein felt about the creature he had created. We've watched with revulsion as our modern-day monster of incivility, bullying, intimidation and hatred has opened its eye and been unleashed upon our nation.
“Women who accuse men, particularly powerful men, of harassment
are often confronted with the reality of the men’s sense
that they are more important than women, as a group.”
― Anita Hill, Speaking Truth to Power
Twenty-five years ago, Anita Hill, a distinguished Yale Law School graduate and Washington D.C. attorney, accused a powerful man, Judge Clarence Thomas, who had just been nominated by President George H.W. Bush to the Supreme Court of the United States, of sexual harassment when she reported to him a decade earlier at both the U.S. Department of Education's Office for Civil Rights and the U.S. Equal Employment Opportunity Commission (EEOC). The accusation reportedly was made privately and dismissed; but a leak to the media prompted Ms. Hill to be called to testify before the Senate Judiciary Committee's confirmation hearing.
"Civility is not not saying negative or harsh things.
It is not the absence of critical analysis.
It is the manner in which we are sharing
this territorial freedom of political discussion.
If our discourse is yelled and screamed
and interrupted and patronized, that's uncivil."
~ Richard Dreyfuss, Actor, Civics Education Innovator
"As citizens we have to be more thoughtful
and more educated and more informed.
I turn on the TV and I see these grown people
screaming at each other, and I think, well,
if we don't get our civility back we're in trouble."
~ Emmylou Harris
I'm not sure to which "grown people" Emmylou Harris was referring, but her quote captures quite succinctly our current national descent into incivility. Oh, sure, we get that political seasons have never been known for their calm and courtesy; the turmoil has always ranged from motivational speeches and witty repartee to sharp exchanges and stern accusations. But there has always been that invisible line drawn in the political sands across which a Presidential -- or other -- candidate crosses only at his or her peril. Well, to borrow from the title of S.E. Hinton's 1971 novel, that was then, this is now.
“Every election is determined by the people who show up.”
~ Larry J. Sabato, Political Scientist
While making calls recently for my Presidential candidate, after the third voter hung up on me I laughed, joked and commiserated with my fellow phone bank volunteers, some of whom had been experiencing the same responses. We had been making Get Out The Vote (GOTV) calls in advance of the Iowa caucus. Most of the voters we were calling were already on board with our candidate, but even among those loyal supporters there were some who were outraged at the number of calls they had been receiving. I was used to this type of response from my first political campaign back in 1968.
“…you can prove that you’re a Christian.
You can’t prove it, then, you know, you err on the side of caution.”
“…calling for a total and complete shutdown of Muslims entering the United States…”
“…I don’t think orphans under five…should be admitted into the United States at this point.”
The news is not good these days for those of us who teach etiquette to students and professionals. You can't pick up a newspaper, watch the news on TV or go online without reading or hearing the maelstrom of incivility aimed at certain ethnic and religious groups.
Bing Images - Women Against Campus Rape
"Enough is enough.
It’s time to stop sexual assaults on our college campuses."
Whoopi Goldberg
Bullies want to abuse you.
Instead of allowing that, you can use them as your personal motivators.
Power up and let the bully eat your dust. ~ Nick Vujicic
The last two entries, Scoping Out the Political Landscape and Coping With The Workplace Bully - Part 1 of 2, addressed the related topics of workplace politics and bullying and focused on background and statistics on bullying as well as current efforts to eliminate bullying. According to the Workplace Bullying Institute, here are a few more insights:
"Come, we'll have him in a dark room and bound. My
niece is already in the belief that he's mad: we
may carry it thus, for our pleasure and his penance,
till our very pastime, tired out of breath, prompt
us to have mercy on him: at which time we will
bring the device to the bar and crown thee for a
finder of madmen. But see, but see."
~ Sir Toby Belch (speaking about Malvolio),
William Shakespeare's Twelfth Night, Act 3, Scene 4
(Note: This two-part entry on bullying concludes my year-long series on job search skills and beginning a new job.)
Jeanne Nelson 