“There is a child in every one of us who is still a trick-or-treater looking for a brightly-lit front porch.” ~ Robert Brault

“Double, double toil and trouble; Fire burn and cauldron bubble.” –William Shakespeare, Macbeth

“Halloween is the only time people can become what they want to be without getting fired.” ~ Sylvester Stallone

“Trick or treat without any fright, and your Halloween night is sure to be filled with delight.” ~ Love To Know

It’s that time of year again, when many of us look forward to dressing up in costumes, hosting or attending parties and parades and for young children, trick or treating.

And who among us doesn’t love to be deliciously frightened by stories, specters and movies of witches, ghosts, goblins, werewolves, vampires, mummies and other monsters, along with my favorite Halloween movie — ta! da! – the 1974 classic, Halloween.  

For young children, though, these classics are fun and wiser choices (with parental guidance, of course): The Witches, It’s The Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown, The Nightmare Before Christmas, Disney’s The Legend of Sleepy Hollow, Muppets Haunted Mansion, Wallace & Gromit: The Curse of the Were-Rabbit and The Addams Family.

As Halloween looms, it’s never a ghastly idea to review the frightful manners and other guidelines required for trick or treating, which gets scarier each year (especially when reading the news, and more news, to remind ourselves about the real monsters that exist). For starters, to keep young trick or treaters safe, they should be accompanied by parents or other responsible adults, stick to nearby and familiar neighborhoods, and call on homes they know are safe. Trick or treaters might find themselves still making the rounds at dusk or dark, and should wear reflectors, even if they are wearing light-colored clothing or costumes.

Older children — say 10-12 — should make the rounds in groups of substantial numbers, during the daylight hours only, and stick to known neighborhoods and houses where they are acquainted with the people who live there.

No minor trick or treater should eat any of the candy or other edibles they collect until they are home and their haul can be examined by a parent or other responsible adult in charge.

To expand on my previous 10-year-old list, here are the manners parents should urge their young trick or treaters to observe :

The Trickers (those calling on homes for treats, ostensibly as bribes so the occupants — or expected treaters — won’t be tricked — thus the term, “trick or treat”)

1. Lights On / Lights Off– Porch lights on generally signal that these homes are welcoming and prepared with treats. Light off generally means that there are no more treats left, or the occupants are not receiving callers. If apartment buildings are on the trick or treat route, be sure that the policy or practice of those buildings is open to treating scary young callers. Politely ask a doorman or elevator operator for permission to ring doorbells.
2. Treats Yes / Tricks No! – The historic practice of Halloween pranks — amusing as some might have been — is far behind us today. In modern times, the reality is that trick or treating is meant to be good fun — and civilized — rather than frightening, terrorizing or destructive. Kids, and sometimes parents, dress in costume and go house to house displaying their creativity. Neighbors join in the fun of this beloved holiday by displaying their hospitality and providing candy and other treats to callers. So, if a home has its lights off, rejects callers, doesn’t give a good treat, or whose inhabitants might have an unpleasant — and possibly undeserved — reputation, there should be no tricks at these homes that involve, for example, soaping, egging, toilet papering, pumpkin smashing, silly stringing, shaving creaming, graffitiing or otherwise defacing property, and / or stealing candy from porches (or from other trick or treaters). While these tricks might seem harmless, they indeed can cause harm and in some localities they might even be against the law.  
3. Keep It to a Dull Roar – While a certain amount of elevated noise and commotion is expected on Halloween — with all the excitement of young children, screaming, shouting — making undo noise or otherwise disturbing the peace should be avoided.
4. Only Ring Twice – Ring or knock once and wait patiently. If no one answers the door after a few seconds, and if the light is on and it appears that someone is home, ring or knock once more. But that’s it. No leaning on the doorbell or pounding on the door should be permitted. Leave in peace. There are other houses to visit.
5. Hold the Bag – When someone answers the door, the children should hold out their bags and wait politely for the treats. Again, no shouting, shoving, grabbing or demanding. Remember, on Halloween, it’s okay to look horrifying, but it’s not okay to act horrifying.
6. Say Thank You – No matter how frightening trick or treaters might look in their costumes, their behavior should not be frightful.  Those being treated should always say, “thank you,” upon departing from each home with their loot.

The Treaters (those in homes being called on by Trickers)

1. Wrapped Candy Only – Although homemade treats are lovely and some good quality candy comes unwrapped, most parents won’t let their children keep or eat anything that isn’t commercially wrapped. So, don’t waste your money, time or treats, or cause the children or their parents’ angst by failing to follow this modern time-honored and important convention.
2. Lights On or Off – If you live in a house, indicate to callers your participation by leaving a porch light on. And, ensure that your walkway and stairs are well lit and clear so people can see where they’re walking and don’t trip over anything. If you don’t wish to participate, leave your porch light off. Apartment dwellers should comply with the practices of their building in welcoming or not welcoming trick or treaters.
3. Don’t Scare the Kids – It’s great fun to decorate your entryway or wear a costume to greet trick or treaters. But, don’t go overboard and scare the little ones. You’ll not be thanked for that by parents (or the children), and it might tarnish your reputation.
4. Control the Dog– Don’t let your big, shaggy or tiny ferocious dog bark, growl or jump — or pretend to be a vampire and take a bite out of someone. Your dog might be a pussy cat (so to speak), but if not behaved or trained to obey commands, for everyone’s sake it’s best to confine your pooch until the last trick or treaters depart. Also, take care that your dogs and cats do not slip out the door while you’re busy filling bags and conduct some trick or treating on their own. I say all of this as a pet owner, past and present. 
5. Say “You’re Welcome”– When the recipients of your treats say “thank you,” be sure to say, “you’re welcome.” You’ll be setting a good example.

Teen-Agers and Young Adults

As much as some might wish to recapture their youth by trick or treating past the age of 12, it’s a terrifying idea. It’s enough of an investment of time and money to stock up for young trick or treaters; expecting such generosity and good nature to extend to teenagers and young adults is not reasonable or considerate. Moreover, many treaters might have party plans for themselves or they want wish to have a quiet dinner, or turn in early, and would like to end the doorbell answering by 9:00 pm-ish. But because older trick or treaters tend to make the rounds later, doorbells often ring until 10:00 or even 11:00 p.m. That behavior gets into frightful manners territory. Better for teens and young adults to host or attend a Halloween party, or just get together for a fright night of scary movie watching and eating purchased or homemade treats.

Note: For those who will not be home but want to join in the treating — and don’t wish to leave a big bowl of candy on the doorstep to prompt some frightful manners by those who would help themselves to the whole thing — here are tips from some clever folks here and here.

Halloween Party – Hoot or Horror

Maintaining a decorum that lends itself to order, respect and empathy can conjure up a party — whether hosting or attending — that is a fun horror instead of a true horror!

1. Kids’ Halloween Party – Not all parents want their kids to go trick or treating. Some prefer to keep their kids safe at home while still experiencing the fun and excitement of this treasured autumn observance. The best way to do this is to host — or co-host with other parents — a kids Halloween party. Here is an article from the spruce that has some tips for a frightfully fun kids’ party.
2. Adults Halloween Party – An adult party can be a great way to celebrate the scariest day of the year. Check out this Love to Know article on adult party themes as well as some ideas for combining adult and kid activities and a clever plan for getting the trick or treat bug out of some adult systems without bothering the neighbors.
3. Office Halloween Party – Post-COVID, the office party might be coming back, and it can still be a great team-building and bonding event. For guidelines to planning and attending the office Halloween party and having a wickedly good time while maintaining professionalism and propriety (so you don’t wake up the next morning to find that your career is dead – lol), take a look at my previous post on the subject, which while a bit dated still holds up.

However you celebrate Halloween, observing frightfully good manners will help ensure that you — and those around you — have a wickedly good time!

Until next time,

Jeanne