PRIDE ALLYSHIP

Pride flag - Pixabay - flag-4552833_1280 - 6-19-24

“This place represents a real inflection moment in this movement, which is a movement that is about equality, that is about freedom, a  movement that is about safety. I’m here because I also understand not only what we should celebrate, in terms of those fighters that fought for fundamental freedoms, but understanding that this fight is not over.” ~ Vice President Kamala Harris, At the Stonewall Inn in June 2023, NBC News

“My specific mandate is to advocate for women and girls, but I also understand that these oppressions are interlocking and that intersectionality is a really important word here. We need to be supporting each other 100 percent. I hope the LGBT community does feel included, and that this is their movement. It definitely is.” ~ Emma Watson, Bustle 2015

“To the entire LGBTQI+ community — and especially transgender children — please know that your President and my entire Administration have your back.” ~ President Joe Biden

“I think this life is hard without assistance from others.” ~ Attributed to RuPaul

“For a long time, with a lot of women of the trans experience on television, people have only got to see one aspect of their life. With ‘Pose,’ it’s broadened the scale.” ~ Michaela Jaé Rodriguez / “Mj Rodriguez”

“All your thinly veiled hate/ Is a dangerous trend/ It’s such a vile cliché/ But you’d rather talk straight/ And I hate to offend/ So I’ll try not to say that I’m as/ Gay as an easter bouquet!” ~ RandyRainbow

“…being a good ally often means not speaking up when there are folks who can speak for themselves.” ~ Shakirah Bourne  and Dana Alison Levy, authors of Allies (among other important stuff…) 

In 1968, I moved to New York City,  a year before the Stonewall uprising. Back in my hometown of Chicago, as a 20-something straight cis woman I briefly encountered a few gay people in passing.  But it wasn’t until I moved to Manhattan for my job at ABC that I was more fully exposed to the LGBTQIA+ world and its conflicts.  Working in the entertainment industry and living in a building where many of my neighbors were in the theatre provided many opportunities to mingle. Meeting people who were different from me was an eye-opening journey that busted stereotypes and revealed the richness of diversity. In a very short time it no longer mattered whether someone was gay or straight; we were all people busy striving for the same things – career success, having fun, joining causes,  helping our neighbors, dealing with strikes (!), taking care of our pets, dating, and searching for the right mate with whom to settle down, and so on. I was also having fun frequenting coffee houses with friends in Greenwich Village and seeing a drag show with a date at the Blue Angel. 

Over four decades I worked in publishing, public relations and finally in the financial services sector on Wall Street. It was in that last career iteration in the mid aughts that I was pleased to join the newly-formed first gay-straight alliance (GSA) at my company that was sponsored by an openly gay senior executive. The intent was to establish a safe place within the company for gay employees to live their lives honestly, happily and on equal footing with straight employees. Witnessing the positive changes that joining forces facilitated was illuminating, gratifying and even thrilling. In more recent years, I had the opportunity to expand my understanding and allyship yet again; I had the pleasure of working on a community project with a transgender woman who is a highly accomplished musician and business professional.

Over the years I have witnessed a number of victories for gay rights in the courts and in Congress, and have participated where and when I could in strides toward gay equality in the workplace and society. Maddeningly, just as progress and enlightenment seemed to be picking up steam, some have been trying to bring it all to a screeching halt.

The Long Road To– and Fight For — Human Rights

As we know, however, while along the road to LGBTQIA+ rights some victories were notched, there also were numerous roadblocks in the past. As well, women and black Americans have been fighting on parallel tracks with the gay community for equal and civil rights, and immigrants have long struggled for the right to live side by side with citizens. In recent decades, this overlap has come to be known as intersectionality. 

And speaking of roadblocks, we all should remember this major historical one:

President Eisenhower, in his 1953 Executive Order 10450, gave the government the authority to ban homosexuals from working in civil service jobs for the following reasons: “(iii) Any criminal, infamous, dishonest, immoral, or notoriously disgraceful conduct, habitual use of intoxicants to excess, drug addiction, sexual perversion.” There were some fixes to eliminate this roadblock in the ’70s and ’90s, but it was President Barack Obama who repealed all of EO 10450 with EO 13764: “(v) Section 3 of Executive Order 13467 is revised to read as follows: ‘Sec. 3. General Provisions. (a) Executive Order 13381 of June 27, 2005, as amended, and Executive Order 10450 of April 27, 1953, as amended, are revoked.'”

We know from history what prompted EO 10450 in the first place. Senator Joseph McCarthy, who led the anti-communist campaign that came to be known as McCarthyism,  connected the so-called 1950s “Red Scare” of communism to the so-called “Lavender Scare” of homosexuality. The name of the latter was thought to be taken from the term, “lavender lads,” attributed to Senator Everett Dirksen, to describe homosexual males. Looking back, we now know that this connection cost thousands of gay people their government jobs, and the persecution went on for decades. Ironically, Senator McCarthy himself was rumored to be a secret homosexual, and his lawyer was the infamous Roy Cohn, an apparently gay man (though he denied it) who became a young Donald Trump’s role model. It’s always interesting, and sometimes a bit of a shock, to connect the historical dots!

 And so it was a bumpy road throughout the 20th century for gay rights, with the decade of the ’80s being particularly brutal due to the AIDS epidemic disproportionately affecting gay men. Interestingly, a name we’ve become familiar with as a result of the COVID pandemic, Dr. Anthony Fauci back then emerged as a powerful straight ally.

But as we entered the 21st century, the outlooked looked brighter, with the LGBTQIA+ community scoring some momentous victories. Here are some reminders:

A personal historical note: When I was growing up, transgender woman Christine Jorgensen was a household name; her story is an important history lesson. Other household names I grew up with encompassed several members of the LGBTQIA+ community — whether closeted, out or rumored — who contributed to the enrichment of the world on many fronts. They included Dag Hammarskjold, Liberace, Gore Vidal, and Andy Warhol, among many others. Those I learned about as a young adult included Billie Jean King, Freddie Mercury, Harvey Milk, Martina Navratilova and many more. Their contributions and lessons were important and lasting.

What’s Going On Now?

Here are reminders of how our lives are made better or worse by those we place in power through our votes:

On the One Hand…

Many of the people behind these efforts and advances may be considered straight allies.

And On the Other Hand…

  • Transgender rights are under attack like never before, an issue the religious right has latched onto and which has been festering since the right lost the 2015 Supreme Court decision on gay marriage. Targeting trans people has since taken on a political life, resulting in laws in some 20 states controlled by Republicans that place severe restrictions on girls’ and women’s sports participation, trans health issues, bathroom usage and what is taught and discussed in schools. These actions fall under the guise of “parents’ rights,” “protect children” and defending sports teams.
  • Supreme Court Justice Samuel Alito’s wife reportedly said that she wanted to put up a Sacred Heart of Jesus flag as well as one with her own design of a white flag with yellow and orange flames that has on it the word “vergogna,” which she said is Italian for “shame.” The reason? Martha-Ann Alito explained: “…because I have to look across the lagoon at the Pride flag for the next month.” 
  • The appalling so-called Lavender Scare previously mentioned is rearing its hideous head again today, using scare tactics and disinformation instead of facts regarding gender-affirming healthcare for adults and children; drag queens in libraries performing readings for children; and other issues.  Some folks need to be reminded that while they are entitled to their beliefs and choices in raising their children, they are not entitled to impose their beliefs and choices upon others.
  • Just as the former president engineered the rollbacks on women’s reproductive healthcare and voting rights, the latter of which mainly affects people of color, as well as other civil rights, he reportedly intends to rollback LGBTQIA+ rights.
  • Many gay people are still in that so-called closet and are hesitant to come out in the current environment. A bittersweet report just out tells the story of a gay man who came out in his obituary. The message he is said to have left is quoted as: “I’m sorry for not having the courage to come out as Gay. I was afraid of being ostracized: by Family, Friends, and Co-Workers. Seeing how people like me were treated, I just could not do it. Now that my secret is known, I’ll forever Rest in Peace.” 

Allyship and The Path Forward

This year marks another pivotal moment for the rights of mostly everyone, including the LGBTQIA+ community.

 Whether as straight allies we are employers, managers, coworkers, colleagues, neighbors, friends, acquaintances, relatives or family members of someone (or perhaps several someones) whose sexual or gender identity differs from our own, it is key to support and protect them on several fronts with sensitivity, understanding and courage.

I gained some insight into the process when I was a manager and member of my company’s GSA. However, to gain a deeper understanding of how to practice allyship, I suggest taking a look at the following guides:

There are many ways to be a straight ally, even if it’s just being there to listen and be a confidant, thereby creating a safe haven for individuals to have space to express their feelings. On the other end of the allyship spectrum, it’s important not to overstep (as stated in some of the resources cited above).

And, to reiterate, another way in which both gay and straight Americans can take control of the future is to vote for those who will advance the rights of gay people rather than eradicate them. 

On June 11, 1999, President Bill Clinton designated June as Gay and Lesbian Pride Month. My hope is that as we mark this anniversary, the spirit of Stonewall and all that came after it will inspire us straights in our  allyship with our LGBTQIA+ fellow Americans and others to ensure that our nation continues its progress toward life, liberty, equality, equity, diversity, inclusion and the pursuit of happiness for all.

 Until next time,

Jeanne

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