“Civility costs nothing and buys everything.” ~ Mary Wortley Montagu
“The ability to get along with people is as purchasable a commodity as sugar and coffee. I pay more for that ability than any under the sun.” ~ John D. Rockefeller
“Etiquette requires us to admire the human race.” ~ Mark Twain
“‘Minding your manners’ is all about focusing on how the other person feels, not on how you feel. It’s consciously acting in a way the puts other people at ease and makes them feel comfortable.” ~ Travis Bradberry
“We don’t need to share the same opinions as others, but we need to be respectful.” Taylor Swift
“I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.” ~ Maya Angelou
Note: My apologies for the lengthy radio silence. I have had to put my blog on the back burner to focus on two other important priorities — in addition to my family and friends — and they are my work as a member and district leader (community organizer) of my local Democratic committee and laboring away on a writing project. I hope to get back on track with my blog posts, beginning with this one:
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With the dawn of 2026, I wish to address the topic that prompted me to begin this blog back in 2012, which I named The Three E’s: Etiquette, Ethics, and Empathy in the Workplace (and in Life). And that is business etiquette and its importance in navigating one’s career and personal life, which continuously overlap.
The most important point to consider with regard to modern etiquette is that while more casual dress has become the norm in most business offices, we should not have a casual attitude toward how we treat one another. Being disrespectful, inconsiderate, dismissive, rude, arrogant, vengeful or any other types of hostile or inappropriate behavior is unacceptable in the workplace or anyplace and should be roundly rejected and avoided. Over the past decade, in particular, an inhospitable cloud of contempt toward those who are different from us or disagree with us on any level has permeated every corner of our society (please note that I use the word “us” editorially). This appalling development must be addressed.
In light of this trend, rather than relaxing our standards of etiquette to keep pace with diminishing civility, we need to counter by strengthening our adherence to the principles of etiquette, ethics and empathy in the workplace and in all aspects of our lives.
Getting back to the basics of etiquette is to remember that minding our manners is based on the premise that everyone should be treated with respect and consideration. That premise and its associated conventions allow society — and business — to progress and prosper in a pleasant and joyful manner and avoid unpleasant and unproductive conflict.
Of course, there are times when politeness should be tossed out the proverbial window in favor of assertiveness, such as in some workplace, medical or legal circumstances. When required, we can and should stand up for ourselves and others, and stand up to those who try to bully us. Practicing proper etiquette does not equate with weakness, but rather with strength, confidence and awareness.
Etiquette Conventions and Customs
Professionalism is not an option, and true professionals know that observing the conventions and customs of business etiquette is not only the decent thing to do, it’s also good business and an essential component of good leadership.
So, what is the difference between conventions and customs?
Conventions of etiquette apply in general to how we treat others, i.e., with kindness, consideration, fairness, openness, equality and honesty. Governments pass laws and companies and organizations develop codes of conduct to ensure that such conventions are upheld. For examples, here is the EEOC website, and here is Apple’s Business Conduct Policy. (Note the DEI references, which as we know, have been summarily rolled back by the Executive Branch.)
The world over, etiquette customs vary, but all are rooted in respect, consideration and promoting the comfort and ease of interactions.
Below, briefly and with links to my previous posts on the subjects, are U.S. etiquette customs that when practiced properly can help to open doors, meet people and make friends, expand networks of valuable contacts, obtain job interviews, land dream jobs, snag on-the-job perks and promotions, increase one’s influence, promote peace, reduce conflicts, smooth negotiations, and a host of other happy outcomes:
- Smile, Make Eye Contact and Perform a Proper Handshake. These are essential to making good first and continuing impressions.
- Manage Your Cell Phone. Cell phones are essential to our business and personal lives. But while you might still need to take them to meetings, they should not divert attention from the discussion and should certainly not interrupt a meeting (or performance, etc.), whether with clients, coworkers, or friends. And it’s wise to remember that cell phones remain a controversial and hot-button etiquette topic. So, while there are exceptions to making or receiving calls in meetings or various public places — i.e., urgent medical, business or family situations — at other times it’s best to play it safe by turning off our cell phones and tucking them away.
- Be Punctual. Organize yourself so that you are not so overwhelmed with tasks that you cannot get out of the house or office to be somewhere. This is a challenge in our current nutty environment. I can recall being told back in the day that computer technology would give us more time away from work! In any case, try to get to where you’re supposed to be on time, especially if your manager or client is an early bird!
- Pay attention to Dining Etiquette, which has never been solely about the fork (although knowing about where it goes and which one to choose can be helpful). That said, mastering dining etiquette is important because it shows respect and consideration to fellow diners and makes dining a pleasure, as well as demonstrating a certain level of polish and sophistication. Sure, there are some things to remember, but they are worth it. Remember that, should you be invited to an interview lunch or attend any business dining event — or when invited to dine with the parents of the very important person you’re dating.
- Don’t Interrupt. Interrupting is considered to be rude and offensive and shows bad manners. It also can stop the flow of a discussion or meeting. If you feel the need to interrupt, make sure it’s for an urgent or very important matter, and don’t interrupt the team leader, guest speaker or other important individual. Hint: Women more than men are routinely interrupted, so try not to throw gasoline on that fire. It’s always wise — and polite — to wait for the best opportunity to speak without interrupting anyone.
Here are additional links to special situations, some that we don’t often think about enough, and some that we do:
Work From Home Etiquette (back “then”) – More about Work From Home etiquette in a future post, as WFH is here to stay.
Spreading Germs At Work Is Nothing To Sneeze At
Weddings – Whether you’re attending for personal or business reasons, the ins and outs of wedding etiquette is helpful. Venues, formality, size and times of the year may vary, but there are time-honored customs that, if observed, should be executed properly by the wedding party and the attendees, for everyone’s comfort and enjoyment.
New Year’s Resolution
Adding brushing up on etiquette knowledge to your New Year’s Resolutions will bring a valuable return on investment to your professional and personal success. Contrary to what anyone might say, etiquette conventions and customs still hold.
Until next time,
Jeanne Nelson 